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It gives me my worth, and I need to feel worthy today more than ever.Shutting my eyes, I shift slightly in my bonds. The cloth that binds my wrists to the old metal bed-frame does not hurt. It does not even restrict my movements or hold me firmly in place. Yet, there is no desire to escape or fight. Perhaps it is the dense humidity. Perhaps it is the emptiness inside that numbs the senses you're trying to awaken. Perhaps I just never want to run from you. I belong with you, to you.You sit on the bed, beside me, drinking in my spread form. For a moment, you can't decide to touch, taste or just hold me. So you just watch the subtle and steady rise and fall of my chest. My body covered by a thin film of sweat, glistens under the steady streams of sunlight through the window. Even with eyes shut so tight, the raw power of your gaze courses through me, momentarily anchoring all thoughts. This is how a God beholds his queen.You dip your index fingertip into the glass of cold water on the. Her chances are thin, the future grim. She’ll need constant, around the clock care, medicines, and therapy, and money, lots of money. There is no money, resources, all resources are gone. Dad takes two jobs. Mom has to find work, but if mom’s out of the house struggling to find the revenue to cover the exorbitant costs of pain and recuperative medications there’ll be no one home to provide the care their little darling desperately needs. Across town, twenty miles away, another man’s daughter, another little girl has run afoul of a bad crowd. She’s learned the lessons of bad company, and earned the reputation that follows. Pregnant and alone except for her widower father she faces the hard choice of putting her baby up for adoption, selling her tiny boy to strangers to escape the approbation of a hard hearted condemnatory community. Or the alternative, the more arduous choice of keeping her little creation and raising and loving him herself, a choice perhaps more daunting than giving.
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